fore, but I'll say it again...if you don't read Everyday Should Be Saturday, you should. (edsbs.com) I'm stealing a couple things from them, because they are just too hilarious not to share.
#1 FIU's stank-ass QB Wesley Carroll
"Wesley Carroll doesn't have any plans. Maybe he'll try to get on in the UFL. Maybe he'll go roughneck out in Wyoming for a while. Money's good, and the sky and the women are free. Just stay away from Johnny Law and The Man, and things'll be just fine as French wine, cowboy. There's a sailing ship out there called Destiny's Codpiece. It sails tonight from St. Pete. Its destination? Wesley Carroll doesn't know, and doesn't care. Life's about the journey, brah. Now pass him that helmet. No, he doesn't need a scrunchy. Freedom starts with the hair, and ends with the horizon."
Yep. That's the kind of great stuff you get on this sight...put it on your "must read everyday" list right now.
And just for good measure, how about this Jim Mora Jr. mocking...
Oh Jim L. Mora (not a junior; he does not enjoy the bold flavor privileges afforded to people who call-call-call him Junior), you so crazy. Dutiful comrades of the highest calling, Bruins Nation, bring us this gem of a marketing campaign. Imagine it in a dramatic movie trailer voice, if you may: "In a world where fear knows no bounds. Where darkness reigns unopposed and chianti floods the river thames, only one man spare us from the slings and arrows of outrageous boredom. *record scratch* [cue whacky voice] JIM L. MORA! From the people who brought you 'THE FOOTBALL MONOPOLY IN LOS ANGELES IS OFFICIALLY OVER', comes this year's feel good hit of the winter: 'MORE GRIT. MORA FOOTBALL.'"
So let's talk about what this poster does well:
•It is a poster.
•Jim L. Mora is wearing an appropriate polo.
•The Rose Bowl logo adds an element of class as though to signify an impossible dream.
More importantly, let's get to what this poster doesn't do so great:
•The conviction with which Mora holds the football says "I really thought you'd like this officially licensed football for Christmas but I couldn't quite remember if you still liked football or not. Don't worry; there's a gift receipt taped to the ball underneath my hand."
•2012 Season Tickets sound more like judicial sentencing than an incentive to use disposable income.
•UCLA lost the two games pictures in the photo stills by a combined infinity points.
•The only believable character in the whole damn thing is Hailee Steinfeld as Jim L. Mora's quarterback.
•"uclaBruins.com" is a maddening mix of proper capitalization, improper capitalization, and pissing caution to the wind. Seriously: What. The. Hell.
•The complete lack of 'Deal With It' sunglasses.
Fun stuff.
I think it has been decided that the Football Challenge will have the 3rd Annual Gathering of the Masses this March - get this on your calendar now:
MARCH 17th - Saturday (opening weekend of NCAA Hoops Tourney)
Where: BWW in Chanhassen (because lamps at my house aren't safe for this party...BOMB)
What: Prize money will be distributed, and then you will have free reign to repeatedly bet again and again with other members to try and quadruple your winnings on the NCAA hoops games. I'm also working on some other distinguished honors for the gathering, so I really hope everyone can make it. We'll start when they open around 10 or 11am, and finish when they tell us we are finished. I'm going to work on kicking the family out of the house so I have a place to stay for those of you that are in for the long haul with me. Even if you can just swing by for an hour and a whiskey...please make it happen. It's a rare occurance when we can all get together, so I wanted to give you all a ton of notice in hopes that it will work out.
It will be ugly, it will get out of hand, we'll have 1000 wings and JG will probably do the Vodka tour, which is a BWW special...so you don't want to miss it.
MARCH 17 - Chanhassen - BWW - and my place later...that's all you need, so put it on your calendar NOW!
Later Gators.
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